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can someone correct this ? !?
My desire is to help people, so I want to become a nurse. I seriously reevaluated my goals to determine what future career would best fit my interests and abilities. I met a person who really knows about medical careers, and we have spoken at length about my plans. In this field I will also get benefits, such as health insurance for my family.
My dad lost his job. Each of my family member needs to work individually to get money. My mom works at the nail salon,so I just need to earn my pocket money. I tried to do my homework everyday, but I have alittle tiime to study for SATs
Currently, Iam the president of the Asian club in high school. I have been doing martial art in Asian club since my freshment year,and the members and I have performed in many places such as six flags, middle school, and elementary schools.
Therefore, I consider this sport to be an essential part of my life.
thank you so much.. im not that good at english !
Wow, your English is excellent. Not too many errors here.
"In this field", I would write "In the field."
I would write "My dad lost his job, so each family member needs to work individually to make money."
Mixing the past and present tense in two sentences sounds odd, but combining them works well.
"I try to do my homework every day, but I have little tim eto study for the SATs"
"Currently, I am president"
"I have been doing Martial arts in the Asian club since my freshman year" (watch the s on "arts" and the word "freshman")
"The members and I have performed at many places such as Six Flags, middle schools, and elementary schools" (again, watch the plural on schools)
Excellent job!
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